Why Do Most of Us Have a Phobia or Fear of Public Speaking?

I used to have an all pervading fear of public speaking. Just the thought of standing up in front of a group filled me with dread.

Public speaking statistics show that the majority of people experience nerves when giving a speech. A degree of public speaking anxiety is perfectly normal. After all, speaking in public is like performing, and it’s completely normal to be nervous. You want to do well. Even the greatest actors and performers still experience fear before performing. Indeed, fear is necessary in order to give a performance that is exciting and engaging. You just learn to relabel it as adrenaline and excitement, and channel it in the right direction.

I find it useful to distil the general fear into its individual parts in order to make sense of the fear and overcome it.

So why do we really fear public speaking?

Fear of disapproval

We all want to be liked. That is the natural desire of most human beings - the need for approval and for others to think well of us. However, it’s important to remember that we are harsher in judging ourselves than others. Just because you stumbled over that word, or blushed, doesn’t mean to say that everyone in the room is judging you in a negative way. This will only worsen your public speaking phobia. View your audience as sympathetic, and they will be.

Fear of exposure

When we speak in public, we imagine that our every word and gesture is being scrutinised and judged by all those eyes in the room. We feel vulnerable, like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Remind yourself that the audience is not a whole entity in itself. Rather, it is made up of individuals, who are just like you, with the same fears, doubts and feelings. Remember that they too have public speaking fears, and would much rather be sitting in the audience than up there in front of the group.

Fear of being separate from the group

This probably goes back to prehistoric times, when it was advisable to stick within a group - or be eaten! The only time people faced a sea of strange faces was on the battlefield. We all feel safer with a group around us. When we get up to speak in public, we feel that we are separate from the group, a kind of ‘them vs me’ feeling. Try to feel as though you’re still part of the group even though you’re giving a speech. Maintaining good eye contact with the friendliest faces will help you do this.

Fear of being seen to be nervous

When public speaking, you often feel more nervous than you appear. That racing heart, those sweaty palms and butterflies in your stomach are invisible to the audience. Ironically, the more you feel nervous about APPEARING nervous, the more nervous you will become.

Of course, there are some visible signs of nervousness that can occur such as a trembly voice or blushing. Accept them, and just get on with it. I experienced both a trembly voice and some blushing when I first started public speaking. I admit I felt embarrassed but continued to give talks and speeches. The more relaxed I became about these signs of nervousness, the quicker they went away. Now I have no external signs of nervousness, just internal feelings of adrenaline!

One very important tip: don’t call attention to your nervousness by admitting it. There is no need to try and make yourself feel better by admitting that you’re nervous. As I mentioned, the audience most probably hasn’t noticed that you’re nervous, so why draw their attention to something that they haven’t even perceived?

Fear of going blank

This is the fear of suddenly losing your train of thought under pressure, standing there, all eyes upon you, with no words coming out. Of course, one way to prevent this happening is to prepare thoroughly (this is covered in other parts of this website).

However, if for some reason you still go blank, take a pause, a deep breath and compose yourself. One of the things I learnt was that pausing always seems longer for the speaker than for the audience. By taking a deep breath and allowing your next thought to come, you’ll find that it probably will.

Alternatively, back up a bit and summarise the point that you just made. You’ll probably find that this will naturally lead you onto your next point. You can always have your notes nearby as well, so you can refer to them as a last resort. I’ve seen plenty of public speakers completely forget their next point, calmly take a step back to their notes and start again where they left off.

Fear of being boring

The true antidote to being boring is to become interested. If you’re interested in the world and the people around you, have plenty of hobbies, read widely and keep up with current affairs, why would you ever be boring?

The fear of boring an audience stems from our natural urge to protect ourselves and shrink into our shells. Ironically, if this fear is too strong, you’ll seize up, become stiff and lifeless, your voice will become a monotone and you’re in danger of becoming a boring public speaker!

The secret is to relax, let your adrenaline flow positively, and allow your creativity, spontaneity and humour to shine through. Make a few mistakes in front of your audience, be human, and you’ll never be boring.

Fear of being laughed at

If your audience laughs, that’s a great sign. It means that they’re laughing with you, not at you. We all want to laugh and we love a speaker who makes us laugh for whatever reason. Laugh with your audience - laughter is the most potent antidote to public speaking fear.

So, these are our basic fears broken down into their smallest elements. To quote a famous phrase: ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. You’ll find that the more you experience your public speaking fears, the weaker they will become.

Ultimately, the key to overcoming the fear of public speaking is to take as many opportunities as you can to speak. You will be nervous, but at least now you know why, and that it’s perfectly normal.